This year seems to have passed with a particular haste that has left me reflecting upon all those well intentioned, non-committal resolutions I made way back in January. I'm not sure if perhaps my stars aligned, as some horoscopes would have me believe, or if a year of epiphanies is just a right of passage for every twenty-something year old, but these past six months have left me with one big message; nothing changes, unless you change.
Here are six harsh truths that I have stumbled upon, or revisited over the past year.
1. No Matter What The Bottle Says, No Amount Of Product Is Going To Magically Climb Down From Your Roots All The Way To Those Dry, Dead, Unsightly Tips Of Your Hair And Work It's Magic To Mystically Glue Your Split Ends Back Together
Even if the bottle promises to do so. You know what will fix them, a hair cut. Go support local, and get the bangs you've always wanted while you're at it.
2. You Can't Control Your Feelings, But You Can Control Your Reactions To Them
Life isn't always clean white sheets, work wins, and winery weekends. There will be days when your dog places all four of her muddy wet paws onto your freshly made bed, or weeks when your child has some sort of momentary lapse in bladder control and you change that pink flannelette sheet more times than you thought possible. Sometimes you won't get the job, or you will miss a deadline, or screw something up; maybe even really badly. A lot of the time your outlook for the weekend might look much less inspiring, and a lot more lonely than it did through 'rosé coloured glasses' at your friend's Hen's Day wine tour that you're still reliving through #tbt posts on Instagram.
And at the end of it all you'll probably be left feeling pretty average. And that's okay, feeling sad, angry, frustrated, defeated - that's all a part of being human. But it's not these feelings that are stagnating our lives, it is our reactions to these feelings. It is the words, actions, and thoughts.
Didn't get that job? That sucks, and you should feel disappointed. But don't let that disappointment set you back from applying for another one for the next six months.
3. It's Okay To Step Away From The Things That No Longer Serve You, No Matter How Good They Look From The Outside
Whether its a romantic relationship, a friendship, a job, a class, a gym, or a hobby. If it's not giving you something that you need then walk away.
We place far too much importance on quantity and not quality.
Of course most of the time it is not that simple, there are feelings, relationships, and reputations at stake. But find comfort in reminding yourself that it is okay to step away from the things, and people that no longer bring anything to your life.
4. That Weight-loss Secret, It Doesn't Exist
Nothing is going to help you loose those extra kgs and tone up those muscles if you're not keeping active and eating health. I know that tummy-toning tea promised the world, but I'm sorry it's just not going to cut it. If there was some miracle solution, don't worry someone would have found it, and everyone would know about it.
5. Not Everyone is Going to Like You
No matter how hard you try, there is no way you can be everyone's cup of tea. There will be people you don't mesh with, and groups you won't fit into.
And that's okay, because you, and everyone else in the world is a misfit to the groups within which they do not belong.
So go and leave that group chat, start competitive chicken herding, dye your hair glow in the dark, and find the people that love you for it, and in spite of it.
6. Stop Saying I Don't Have Time to do the Things I Want, Because You're Probably Lying to Yourself
Being busy is not always being productive. If you hear yourself saying things like 'I'd love to take a weekend off, but I don't have time right now' or 'I'd love to have the time to take that course, start that hobby, walk my dog, play with my kids' chances are you're losing time to the less important things.
You should never be too busy to give time to the things that fulfil and enrich your life. So why don't you? Did you loose an hour on Instagram today? Did you visit the supermarket five times this week instead of doing some preparation to turn that into one trip? Did you check snapchat seven times while writing that paper to see if 'x' had replied to that cute one you spent thirty minutes orchestrating this morning?
I'm not saying these things shouldn't have a place in your life, but if you don't have time for the things that fulfil your life because of them, then it is time to reassess.
Full disclosure: I checked Snapchat twice while writing this post...okay it was four times. And no, there was no reply to that cute Snapchat of my dog and I with the beauty filter.